Setting the Record Straight Redux

Good Morning,

Some time ago I addressed the misconception that I was or was related to Don Cornelius, the suave ex-host of America's favorite dance party, Soul Train. Lately it has come to my attention that I am being confused with famed Arctic tracker and prospector, Yukon Cornelius.

You may remember Yukon Cornelius from the 1964 reality television special, 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.' The show followed two young 'misfits,' Rudolph and Hermey, as they tried to overcome physiological and societal restrictions and find happiness and self-worth along the way. Rudoph, as you recall, was born with a facial disfigurement that caused great embarassment to him and his family, and made him the object of scorn and ridicule. Eventually, Rudoph is able to turn his disfigurement into a source of pride and strength. Hermey, a diminutive lad forced into factory labor, ultimately finds the strength to follow his dream of dentistry.

Yukon Cornelius, you may remember, tirelessly pursued a mysterious bear-like creature that had been terrorizing the Arctic community. He did find the creature, and managed, incredibly, to tame it. An equally relentless prospector, he would eventually find the mine which would give him and the community much wealth and happiness. The footage of Mr. Cornelius finding the mine was deleted from subsequent broadcasts to prevent interlopers from sabotaging the mine.

No, ladies and gentlemen, I am not Yukon Cornelius, intrepid adventurer. I am simply Marcus Cornelius, humble servant of Happy Corn and team leader of the Happy Corn Crew. I hope this clears up any misconceptions.

Marcus Cornelius